Sari-A special dog on the couch or in the woods. 

This is a photo of my best friend Sari as she was smelling the flowers at one of her favorite spots. The Frog Pond in Wilmington VT.  

My Wonderful friend

SARI
Writing my thoughts down now is going to be very painful for me. I need very badly to do this however. On Thursday December 8th 2005 Sari died a natural and I believe peaceful death a very short distance from me at my Dear friends Danny and Cheska’s house in Western Massachusetts. There is no way I no how to explain the pain, emptiness and sorrow I am experiencing. She was a companion that gave me more than anyone can ever know. I loved her intensely and she will be in my heart forever.
When Danny sent an email on Saturday notifying people about my loss I was reluctant to forward the email because I wanted all the words to come from me. Since I was in no condition to begin to do what I am doing now I choose to forward the email to some people anyway.
My other wonderful Dog and companion Oscar is struggling through these painful days also. Oscar loved Sari very much also and he is rather lost at this time. We will help each other through these times.
I do not know how long it will take me to finish this essay or whatever I’ll call it because I know from time to time I will have to walk away from the computer to stop and collect myself, dry my eyes and do what I can to replenish myself so I can continue.

Adoption
In the spring of 1999 I decided that I wanted to bring a dog into my life. I had spent a fair amount or time watching and caring for my Friends Janet and Barry’s dogs Thunder and QE. Thunder died in April of 1999 in a car accident. It pained me very much because I had gotten much attached to Thunder.
Throughout the summer and early fall I procrastinated a little. The usual meaningless doubts came up. Perhaps it would limit my movements and ability to travel ect. I knew I somehow would not be waiting much longer however.
On October 22nd 1999 I was loading my car to make a trip upstate to visit Janet and Barry and hopefully adopt a Weimaraner. At this time I ran into Paula Fusco who is one of the long time animal care people in Park Slope. Paula takes care of people’s Dog’s when they are away. Paula felt I should go with her to B.A.R.C. the Brooklyn Animal rescue Center and consider adopting a mixed breed Dog from them. I said when would you like to go. She said let’s go now. What happened in the following few hours were among the most important moments of my life. There will never be a way to thank Paula enough. To this day I love seeing Paula in the Street.
It is by know means easy entering an Animal Shelter. The reason is simple and painful. They all need homes. When I walked in this shelter of about 20-25 Dogs the barking was rather load. I walked over to a Dog that had somewhat of a Collie type look. She was brown and white, rather long hair and wasn’t doing much barking. I approached the pen she was in and she began licking my fingers. I said I would like to take this Dog for a walk. I did and wanted her to become part of my life. Paula apparently put in a good word for me I they let me Adopt this beautiful and precious Dog. Her name at the time was Sara. I just chose to change the last letter to from A to I , and she became Sari.
She made my life unbelievably better. I will never stop loving her for this. I hope somehow she knows what she has done for me.

A New Century
A Better Life
When Sari came home with me that day she was extremely frightened of being in the car. As a matter a fact Sari was a rather nervous dog in the beginning. I was told that she was about 3 years old and that she was found on the street a year before she entered my life. I do not want to think about her life before she entered my life. I began anew for her and it was the beginning of a much higher quality life for me.
I could still have done a great deal of traveling as I had done in the past if I wanted to. Sari was so sweet and beautiful that there would have been a line of people that would have watched her if I was away. My interest in traveling went down considerably because I found being with Sari in Brooklyn or Vermont far more gratifying than any of the trips I had taken in the past. A week or two after Sari moved into my life I did have to go on a 2 day trip to look at a house in the country. Someone stayed in my house to watch her at the time. When I got back she was all over me. It was clear then that this was going to be very special.
A few months later I spent a week in Iowa on a Political campaign. Sari was not able to join me and my friend Audrey Supple watched her for a week. I called every day. It was great to get back and to see how much I missed Sari. Sari also began a special friendship with Audrey that lasted for all of Sari’s life.
The winter of 2000 pasted through and Sari made a business that can be very stressful far more tolerable. It was great going out with her and watching her look up the tree’s at the squirrels. Many of my clients also began to adore her.

The Beginning of 2 Different Lives

In the latter part of the spring of 2000 Sari and I began spending a great deal of time between spring and fall in Vermont. We ran, hiked, canoed, and drove together. The country was great for both of us and I loved to watch her smell the flowers. It was always a little hard to take her back to Brooklyn in the late fall. Somehow as long as the two of us were together we did just fine. Sari became a much calmer dog. Her life and mine in the years before October of 1999 began to matter less and less.
We went back and forth many times in the first few years of the 21st Century. Throughout 2000-late 2002 we had great times together. We spent almost ½ of our time in the country. There were times that Sari would disappear for a few hours in Vermont. I had every reason to believe that she was right near by, but I would still have my heart in my mouth. When she came wondering back I can’t begin to express how good it felt to see her. I never did totally resolve this periodic wandering. I would have liked to find some way to guarantee that she would come when called even if she didn’t see me.
Many people both in Vermont and Brooklyn loved Sari. She was special to a lot of people. I am not going to mention any of the names because I don’t want to leave anyone out.

Oscar Joins Our Family

During the Thanksgiving weekend of 2002 Sari, Audrey Supple, and I drove down to Franklin North Carolina to have Thanksgiving with the fabulous group of Friends I have been sharing Thanksgiving with for many years. Ben and Christine were hosting Thanksgiving that year. Ben and Chris had a fairly large Dog named Bud. A rather pleasant Dog Bud is. Bud was not terribly welcoming to the new Dog that invited himself in with Ben and Chris about 2 months before Thanksgiving. They called the new fellow Little Dog. He was a fairly small well built kind of mix between a beagle and maybe a lab. He was and still is a very cute and sweet dog. Since the little fellow was not quite mixing well with Bud Ben and Chris felt he may be happier in a different home. I did think there somehow was going to be a time when a second dog would join Sari and I.
I just didn’t know if this was the time.
The truth of the matter was that I had only one fear. I was worried that somehow it would change the relationship I had with Sari. I was afraid of losing that one on one I had with Sari. I told Ben and Chris that I was not ready to make a decision but I had by no means ruled out coming back to North Carolina or meeting elsewhere to bring this sweet dog home. When I was about to leave Oscar began following me to my car practically saying I want to join you. I still could not commit and drove away in tears.
After about a month of confusion and anxiety I arranged to meet Ben in Northern Virginia to adopt The Dog that I now called Oscar. I drove down to Virginia with Al Engel and on January 8th 2003 Oscar joined us on our journey back to Brooklyn.
There may have been 1 or two days of anxiety left but that was about it. In less than a week I knew this was the correct decision.

Could Sari Become an even More Fabulous Dog?

Sure there was a little bit of a dominance thing going on the 1st day or two. It didn’t take long for Sari to become the best big sister Oscar could ever dream of. They went on adventures together. I loved watching Sari lick Oscar’s ears. When one was done he would turn around so she could lick the other.
Oscar was very much a country dog but for the next few months we had to be mostly in Brooklyn. He seemed to be so happy to be with us however. Sari and I loved having him and watching the way he wagged his tail.
Oscar really did make Sari even more lovable.

Back to The Country for all of us

The summer of 2003 was the first summer for all 3 of us in Vermont. As has become the usual pattern most of the time from mid May to late October was spent in Vermont. As usual both Sari and Oscar developed a Fan club wherever they were seen. Most everyone who met them in Vermont loved them. At the 7/11 on route 100 where I walked with them everyday people looked forward to seeing them. Some made it a point to give them treats. Both Sari and Oscar sometimes ran with me on the Valley trail we went hiking to the Frog Pond, Grout Pond and Harriman Reservoir.
There was only one problem. It seemed like both Dogs developed a habit of finding Porcupines. It seemed to happen every spring once or twice in Vermont. I ended up going to the Vet to have the quills pulled out. By the spring of 2005 I think I figured out what was going on. I realized that this had never happened with Sari before Oscar joined us.
While Sari was generally the leader of the 2 the Porcupines seemed to be the one exception. I got the sense that it was Oscar going after these animals and Sari was going in to protect Oscar.
Then finally the last to times the problem existed Oscar came back with Quills and Sari with none. I guess it was the beagle part of Oscar that had him hunting. Sari learned her lesson and now it was Oscar’s turn.


Oscar in Mourning

Oscar is having a very rough time the last 12 days. He is moping around quite a bit. It is important for me to know that along with dealing with my pain I can’t forget that Oscar needs me at this time. He also lost his partner and best friend. He also has the disadvantage of not knowing what is going on. I know his old spunk will come back but I need to give him time. He was very dependent on Sari. He almost seemed to be looking at her as if to say what are we going to do now Sari? Sari demonstrated to Oscar as she demonstrated to me that life could be beautiful.

Shock Sadness Pain and Distractions

I still have not gotten over the shock of Sari’s death. There were times throughout the 1980’s and 1990’s that I woke up in the morning without much of a purpose. There was not 1 single day in the 6 plus years that Sari was with me that I did not love the mornings.
I loved having her come up to the bed in the morning ready to take a walk.
Sometimes Dogs can teach us the real important things and life. They can show us how foolish we are for some of the needless things we worry about. Sari and many other Dogs just want us to take a walk with them and smell the flowers, breath the air and enjoy being next to each other. I truly feel sorry for people who have missed the opportunity to have these wonderful animals in their lives because of bullshit reasons. Reasons such as a fear of not being able to go on some vacation or worries about dog hair on some coach can never compete with the love I received from Sari.

I Just Miss Her So Badly

I miss reaching out for her and petting her beautiful head.
I miss watching her jump through the woods on the Valley Trail in Vermont with her beautiful tail flying in the air.
I miss running in the woods not seeing her for a few minutes and then suddenly running behind me.
I miss watching her look up the tree at the 3rd street Park for the squirrels as they came up out of their holes.
I loved telling her that she couldn’t climb a tree even when she would try to jump up.
I miss the look on Oscar’s face when he would watch her interest in squirrels that he didn’t quite share. Oscar seemed to be saying I don’t know why those squirrels are such a big deal but if Sari is interested there must be some reason.
I miss watching her bounce out the door in Vermont with Oscar to start a new day.
I miss watching her lick Oscar’s ears and my fingers.
I miss her coming to the door when I walked in.
I miss the attention she received both in NY and VT from children and adults alike.
I miss reaching with my right hand in the back of the car when we would be going on some trip and petting her.

Mainly however I just miss being in the room with her and knowing she was there. The last 6 years truly have been the best years of my life. I only wish there had more time for us together. I wish I could have had one more chance and one more way to tell her what she meant to me.
Goodbye Sari. You will always be in my thoughts and heart.